Given a chance to talk to your pre-adolescent self, what would you say to them considering all the information you have now?

In today’s show, Traci will be having a hearty conversation with Dr. Reis on loneliness, connection, and intimacy. This episode has nuggets of wisdom based on science for us all to take home.

Dr. Reis is a professor of psychology and Dean’s professor in art sciences and engineering. His research interests involve social interaction and close relationships. He studies the factors that influence our social interaction’s quality and closeness and the consequences of different socializing patterns for our health and psychological well-being. In his research, subjects keep detailed records of their ongoing social interaction. He tabulates them by computer, related to other various factors such as their sexual health and emotional well-being. He is an expert on loneliness and shares the findings of some of his research.

You can’t afford not to love this episode.

Episode Timeline:

[00:09] Intro

[02:45] Dr. Reis’s background and why he started research on intimacy and loneliness

[05:50] What would Dr. Reis say to his pre-adolescent self?

[07:11] What has surprised Dr. Reis the most in his study?

[08:33] Active listening as a skill

[10:49] Couple’s theories that excite Dr. Reis the most?

[12:34] What is loneliness, and where does it come from?

[19:01] Is loneliness getting worse, or are we tracking it more now?

[29:24] How can active listening be used to solve loneliness?

[33:26] Dr. Reis’s wish to our Sidewalk Talk listeners

[37:43] Outro

Resources Mentioned:

New York University

Standout Quotes:

• “I like to think about cell phones as fast food. If you’re hungry, and you go get yourself a Big Mac, you won’t be hungry, at least for a little while. But what you’re eating is not nutritious.” [20:47] - Dr. Harry Reis

• “I don’t want people to get the idea that we’re saying that the way to avoid loneliness is to have deep, meaningful conversations all the time.” [24:31] - Dr. Harry Reis

• “When you pay attention to what another person is saying, you can get insight into them. And interestingly enough, that makes it easy. For people to feel like the other person is paying attention to them.” [29:48] - Dr. Harry Reis

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk 
At sidewalk-talk.org
On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg
On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

Find | Traci Ruble
At Traciruble.com
On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT
On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT
On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

Find | Dr. Harry Reis
At  reis.socialpsychology.org

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