Stories From the Sidewalk To Warm Our Hearts This Holiday
I sat curled up in bed this morning. I had a post on loneliness I was going to share on the blog but reading Spring Washam’s book, A Fierce Heart, in preparation for our podcast interview later today, I was moved by her storytelling and how important it is to listen to stories of calling. I welcome you to these intimate stories of others here at Sidewalk Talk and hope you feel their calling and let their stories inspire us all over the holidays. These leaders are all over the globe bringing love and connection to the street. Let their love shine bright in you and perhaps share the story of Sidewalk Talk listening with your family to ignite a new kind of conversation.
In absurd times, we need absurd amounts of love, - Brad Montague.
If you want to hear each of these leaders tell their stories, in their own words, head over to the #GivingTuesday page and scroll to the bottom for the audio and video clips of these leaders here and hear Heather, Esther, and Dr. Thangunna on the podcast. If this movement calls to you, invest your time, your heart, and consider helping us locate 100 monthly financial investors /donors to reach our #GivingTuesday goal on December 3. $20 per month will help us keep all 92 of our chapters and 7000 listeners creating the kinds of wellness for people, our politics, and our planet.
Esther Boykin’s Sidewalk Talk Story: Listening in Washington DC since 2016
I sit with psychotherapy clients all day long, run a group psychotherapy practice and am an empty nester. In 2016, I was drawn to Sidewalk Talk for two reasons. First, I wanted to be visible in my community to say “Look I am a therapist and talking about how you feel is for everyone.”
But if I were totally honest with myself and you all, I wanted to learn to be more vulnerable too. I can get in uber doer mode and not share what is really up for me. Being part of this organization as a city leader, hearing people’s vulnerable stories over and over on the sidewalk, and heading up media relations for the first couple years has led to long term friendships that will forever stick with me and the courage to be more open in my life.
And that is special to belong to a place where you are welcomed like that. I am a better person for being here.
Michael Tedesco’s Sidewalk Talk Story: Being heard was so healing to me, I started it in Reno, NV
In 2016, I was walking down the street in Oakland California with my dog Josephine. I was at a really low point in my life and feeling quite hopeless. And then, out of nowhere, a person approaches me and says ‘Hi, we are a community listening project, offering to listen. Would you like to sit down and talk?”
And I did. I sat and I said things to this stranger I have never said to anyone. I had so much shame and somehow telling a stranger made it so much easier to tell the truth. I left feeling so much better I even messaged Sidewalk Talk on Facebook to thank my listener. For three years, I have remembered the impact of this conversation and when I moved to Reno Nevada to work with the LGBTQ center,
I knew I had to get involved. I have been in therapy and done lots of growth work but just being there, present for people, even if no one sits down, matters. So many people walk by and stop to say thank you or smile. We are doing something visible in the community that ripples out.
Ute Lange’s Sidewalk Talk Story: Sidewalk Talk has true impact with Six Other Leaders across Germany
I am a coach and I have spent years training in communication and connecting but I must say Sidewalk Talk has had a greater impact on me in ways it is hard to put words to in my ability to connect. It is working - Sidewalk Talk is working to change me and our volunteers for the better.
When I first heard about Sidewalk Talk, a group of us got together to bring it to Bonn, Germany and spent several months organizing and getting a group of about 25 to train and practice together first. When spring came, we went out to the sidewalk and people looked at us and weren’t quite sure as German culture can be quite conservative.
But now that we go out and listen regularly the community is starting to know us. We have one person who has come back three times to be heard. We have a volunteer in her seventies who has so much energy and stamina for this work. She makes it out to every event, no matter how cold it is.
We have a volunteer group that is very loyal to Sidewalk Talk. Our volunteers are from all different cultures and backgrounds - people I would not have met if it weren’t for this project. That is an important part of this project - the community that we are building among the volunteers.
Ziv Ming Li, Connecting with others to connect with self in San Francisco, CA
When I was a boy growing up in China, my parents were not emotionally available to me. Yet I was a sensitive kid who felt lonely and alone a lot and that is still with me to this day.
I first volunteered for Sidewalk Talk this year and am now a city leader in San Francisco and head up creative for the organization. I am so surprised how hearing someone’s story makes me less judgemental of others. I am a more loving kind person because of this practice of listening on the sidewalk. I love it. And that kid in me who was lonely, it heals something for him.
When I sit and listen to strangers I not only feel connected to them but their story helps me connect more deeply to myself. Leading has been new and edgy and also exciting to get to meet so many different kinds of people who show up every month, listen together, and then have dinner together after. I really do believe practicing empathy on the sidewalk, the way we do, feels empowering. We are having an impact on the world by being out there and we impact each other by coming back again and again.
Dr. Narendra Thagunna’s Story: Creating connection and mental health in Kathmandu, Nepal
In my country, Nepal, we are a friendly communal culture. But we still struggle with some of the same mental health crisis you see in the rest of the world. The challenge is people really do not seek out someone when they are struggling with mental health issues.
So my students at the clinic, where I do trainings and suicide prevention work, are all Sidewalk Talk volunteers. Sidewalk Talk is not us doing therapy on the street but it is us being visible and if someone does need more support, now there is a safe way for them to be referred for services that cuts through the stigma.
Things are going so well with Sidewalk Talk that we now extend how long we sit and listen because we started having lines of people waiting to be heard. We now sit and listen for four hours and are ready to expand this into four other locations in Nepal.
Heather Monro’s Sidewalk Talk Story: Listening as a practice of growth in Newcastle UK
When I first heard of Sidewalk Talk I thought “Oh I have to bring this to the UK”. Now we listen every other week in Newcastle in the North East. I have really had to push past my fears. What kind of people would I meet?
But you know what, I have really learned that I can let go of my fear and my judgments about people. It isn’t about how many people we listen to, it is about being there. During the winter months we set up in the library and we have a loyal group of volunteers who have become friends.
I can feel some resistance every time it is time for an event and then every time after I am so happy and connected to not only the people I listened to but the other volunteers and myself. In a growth economy world, we can get consumed with doing, being seen, achievement and there is something very profound about committing to a practice of being...being available to others with no agenda. It is a real mindset shift that I know has really impacted us all here on the Newcastle team.
Patricia Maria Martins’ Sidewalk Talk Story: Love and connection across Brazil
I listen because... I believe everyone has a story to tell. Thinking about it, I've been a listener since I was a child, I've always been interested in listening, talking to people. I am a people person and people who know me and know about my work with Sidewalk Talk usually say: This project is totally you!
I don't believe in a world where people don't connect, don't look at each other, don't listen to each other, don't see each other, don't understand each other. It bothers me a lot and this is one of the biggest reasons that I feel so motivated and inspired to go out and listen on the sidewalks: to establish a connection with the Other.
I am impressed by how quickly we can connect with the strangers on the sidewalk. Kio Stark defines this interaction as "passing intimacy"...this enchants me. In only a few minutes we can establish an affectionate relationship, connect with each other, regardless of whether we see each other again or not. A single conversation can have a massive impact on this moment, in your day or maybe in your life.
One of the most impactful conversations I have had was with a homeless person who had recently been released from prison. He loved talking, he was thrilled to be able to share his story with me. He felt very important and valued. What touched me most in this conversation was the fact that he wanted to tell the love story that he had cherished for all his year’s in prison - a love that was lost. He told me in such great detail this story of love, wanting to savor and hold on to every single detail as he let unfold this great love story with me. What he got in touch with, at the end of our conversation, was now that he was out of prison, he was ready to find and live another love story with someone special.
What really moves us is Love.
